Increasing your Emotional Intelligence: Self-Awareness
Earlier this year, I became certified to administer and interpret the EQ-i 2.0 Assessment, a tool designed to help individuals and groups understand and increase their Emotional Intelligence (EI). I did this because I believe in the model and its potential to help improve self-awareness, problem solving, and empathy in those who engage with it. With that goal in mind, here is the first in a series of short blog posts aimed to provide insight into the EI model and how to move from insight to action:
Step 1: Self Awareness
The foundation of EI (and most approaches to personal growth) is knowing yourself. Socrates went as far as to say that "the unexamined life is not worth living." While I try my best not to gravitate toward extremes, I believe there is a nugget of wisdom here. Emotional Intelligence begins with understanding and managing our own emotions. Here is one step you can take build this skill:
“Know Thyself” - Socrates
Expand your emotional vocabulary - Many people can only access about 4 words to describe their emotions: Mad, Sad, Glad, and Scared. Not a bad start, but the landscape of emotions has the potential to be so much more descriptive. When we have language to help us understand and express our emotions we are better equipped to manage those emotions well. Understanding what we are feeling helps us gain insight into why we are feeling it. Try this...
Pick an issue you are facing that is emotionally charged and do your best to name the primary emotion it brings up.
Now check out this example of an emotion wheel (below) and see if your word is on there. If your word is somewhere in the middle, move outwards and see if you find a more specific emotion word that describes what you are feeling. If your word is further on the outside of the circle, move inwards to see what emotion is at the core of your situation. If your word is not on the wheel, ask yourself, “Is this is really an emotion or is it just an adjective?”
Now take some time to reflect on this experience by either writing down your thoughts, talking through it with someone you trust, or whatever other method appeals to you.
Finally, the next time you find yourself describing your emotional state by saying something like 'I feel great' or 'I feel bad,' see if you can come up with an actual emotion word to more accurately convey what you are feeling in that moment. Practice makes perfect!
Dan Miller is the founder of Fifth Pillar Consulting and believes that developing our emotional intelligence is a good idea.